Date: 24th May 2013 at 12:47am
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With many thanks to Wolves season ticket holder Phil Bradley, we ask a few questions about Kaspars Gorkss

With many thanks to Wolves season ticket holder Phil Bradley (@wolvesbradders), we have asked a few questions about Kaspars Gorkss and how he has been getting on at Molinuex. Thanks again to Phil for these answers, you all will find it a very comical and enjoyable read!


1) Wolves have suffered a massive downturn in the past few months. Was Gorkss at the heart of the defensive problems, or were there much deeper causes?

‘Few months?’ Try 3 seasons! After finishing 15th in our first PL season it has been downhill since then. In 81 games we’ve gone from briefly being top of the Premier League to entering the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy and games against Stevenage, Crawley, etc. Sigh.

Skin of the teeth survival in the final 5 mins of the 10/11 season conceding 66 goals. It got worse with 82 goals conceded as we were relegated with a whimper the following year along with the farcial appointment of Terry ‘not a job for a novice’ Connor. Old Gorkss was hardly walking into a team with a solid defence and on a high! Arguably, our problems started with the signing of Roger ‘mine’s a double’ Johnson and instantly making him captain in the summer of 2011. This caused dressing room unrest. Him turning up drunk to training in the middle of a relegation battle hardly endeared him to the fans either!

The arrival of Gorkss coincided with Roger serving yet another suspension. But on the plus side it meant the highly rated youth player Danny Batth FINALLY got a chance to stake a claim. And barely put a foot wrong in 5 games. The Batth/Gorkss partnership even kept a rare clean sheet on their first outing, only our 2nd in 2 months. But calamity Rog was back, so the player Sheffield Wednesday fans called their best defender since Des Walker after his loan there last year made way, much to the disgust of fans. Johnson and Berra have made endless mistakes over the years and kept their place, yet we uncover a potential gem and he’s ditched. Johnson and Gorkss would see out the season. A clean-sheet on their first pairing was followed by 13 goals conceded in 6 games, including 3 against relegation rivals Huddersfield at home.

2) What strengths did you see in him during his tenure, if any?

Err. Well he didn’t turn up drunk, offer out the fans, tweet/get his wife to tweet about our fans and so on. As I say, it started quite positively with Batth, it seemed like he was guiding the youngster well as he made his way in the 1st team squad. Who knows how that partnership would have developed had Saunders not bottled it.

3) Any noticeable weaknesses that he needs to improve on?

In a way it’s hard to criticise Gorkss directly. Our whole club is a shambles from top to bottom. We could have added John Terry to our defence or Ronaldo to our attack but it wouldn’t have made much difference. Terry would still have been playing between a striker turned ‘left-back’ (thanks for that genius Mick) in Ward and an alcoholic on £40k a week who rolled into his 1st press conference and pretty much said he didn’t want to be there.

The main area where he needs to improve on is by picking an agent who doesn’t send him on mission impossible!

4) If I was to offer you the chance to sign Gorkss for next season, would you take it?

Well… Just before he was sacked for being utterly clueless as a football manager and his David Brent impersonations Dean Saunders said he’d like to keep Gorks on at £25,000 per week. In League 1. Errr. Say WHAT?! This caused yet more upset amongst the fans. Once again showing how out of touch the Welshman was with what was happening on the pitch. If a 0 was knocked off that figure, then I think he’d probably be able to do a job for us. Although I’d rather we go back to basics – ‘young and hungry’ players from the lower leagues alongside our youth players.

5) Gorkss is a defender who was a rock at the heart of our defence last season, does he look far from Championship standard in the games you have seen him? Where would he be better suited?

He’d be better suited in the bargain bin in Poundland rather than a football pitch. As I say though, in fairness to the lad, he walked into a minefield of a football club. He was no worse than anyone else on the pitch, that wouldn’t be hard though when he was unfortunate enough to share the pitch with Mr Danielle ‘My husband always gives 100%, if the fans did the same you wouldn’t be going down’ Lloyd.

I’m sure he’ll find his form for you guys again next season. The one bright point is that we won’t be playing you and he won’t add his name to that long list of players who once wore the old gold but pop up and score a goal against us!

All the best to you all for next season. I know there’s not much love from your fans to our own, but always seemed such a fuss about nothing. I tell you what you REALLY need to kick-start promotion and show there’s no hard feelings – Roger Johnson, Jamie O’Hara and Karl Henry. Give Mr Moxey a call, he’ll do you a good deal. I’ll bring them down after work tomorrow!

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5 Replies to “Scout Report – Kaspars Gorkss”

  • if you take the comments of a low life oiece of scum like bradley who thinks he is a Wolves fan then you get everything you deserve! he is one of the reasons why our club is in the mess it finds itself in! Gorkss played well and seemed to help the defense – our problem was that the rest didn’t help out.
    In ref to Johnson yes he turned up a bit tipsy – but with the stick he was getting off those like bradley is it little wonder, he mentions Jamie O’Hara’s wife – so I suppose in Bradleys world it is ok to attack one of your own players has he walks from the ground holding his young son, it is also ok to abuse a players wife whilst she is pregnant! as for being a shambles it’s thanks to scum like bradley that we are were we are, support he and his ilk couldn’t support and old lady across the road, until we weed out these low life we will never get back to were we belong – O’Hara’s wife was spot on – trouble is people like bradley can’t take it – all mouth, wing and ***** and the sooner they ***** off the better.

  • going on from the comments by bradley- you asked him about Gorkss and all he has done is ridicule the club, players and those that run the club -AND HE IS A FAN! is he *********, he is most likely one of those that ran onto the pitch and kicked out at the Stewerds! damaged the hoardings and damaged Wolves property, unfortunatly we have a number of low life that are dragging our great club’s name through the gutter -AND HE IS ONE OF THEM!

  • Oh and one other thing bradley – Saunders wanted Gorkss on “REDUCED” terms, you now -LESS MONEY! Moron.

  • Oh and one other thing bradley – Saunders wanted Gorkss on “REDUCED” terms, you now -LESS MONEY! Moron.

  • Gorkss had little impact in improving the defence. He looked a little slow and ragged commiting unecessary fouls at times. To get him into the team we dropped Dany Batth a player more than 10 years younger who had just come into the team and done well.

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